General Life - Talk about loss of someone

Rules: no private details. General items, Safe space.

I started this on discord recently, not sure there or here is better suited.

Thought i would try it here. Repeating the data, might help too.

*oh reply to this MAIN post, and the overall system doesnt get annoying.

Then again, may be in this case the Threaded reply setup migh tbe ok.

as each Post would be a separate person?

My Dad died recently. (2 months and a few days) I am still dealing with this. We (dad and I) expected this, knew it was coming. he said repeatedly how he hoped it was soon. (just that was rather hard/akward etc) the pain etc would be more than other times. He wanted to die at home. Both parents died in this same house.

its still weird. I just got his ashes a few days ago. they are on a bookshelf above my desk here.

along with a few of his hobby items. He liked film. 8mm back when, later he had a Portable VCR camera thing. i have some of the 8mm’s I dont have the vcr tapes yet. (i think i know where they are, but havent gotten there yet)

Dealing with legal stuff. thought we were ready for that too. nope. i have access to some accounts, but not others. actually found out today, the 529’s he set up for my 2 sons, DIDNT go to them on his death (i first met these bankers, and told them such… but noone belives me) guy just called and said ‘blah blah team’ just found the note (designation?) when they were entering the kids info, that they had them fill out. (weeks of waiting on them sending paperwork out…) i thought i was clear of at least that part. nope. i still have to steward those accounts, until/unless my death. THEN they can. (ugh, now i cant do a paragrph here)

There it worked. ok. weird timing, i am looking at the post about this in discord, that was just this morning i posted about my younger, and my uncertainty about his ability to control that fund.

(i am not sure its enough to pay for his entire college setup, which is another awkward issue.

4 Insurance claims yet to go.

ONE of those, i find is for my mother. he never moved it off of her made this back in the … early 70’s thats just weird.


Sorry for your loss GK, can’t imagine what you are going through. if you need time to deal with things, we would all understand. <3

I can relate to this all to well right now. We recently lost my father in law to a tragic accident. I now find myself taking care of my mother in law on a daily basis (she has stage 4 heart failure, and a fractured back at the moment). She had no idea about their finances, so that has been a fun mess to figure out to make sure that she is able to stay in her home. On top of that I am now also meal prepping for her as my father in law was the one that did all of the cooking too.

I am very sorry for your loss, and the grieving you must be going through on top of all of the other pieces you outlined. As PTT said take the time you need, it’s not an easy thing to deal with. My heart goes out to you and if you ever just need another ear to chat with that can understand some of what you may be going through, feel free to reach out.

Sorry for your loss! So its , well you get it. confusing, frustrating, and if you (and yours) dont do it, noone else will. but while your there, sometimes… good conversation, memories shared. Stories… Timewise, im ok. i am online 7days a week, unless its for doc’s or my kids events.

It is all of those things and more. And you are correct that if we don’t no one else will. You are also correct with the memories and stories that come out as people are together. For me recently with Thanksgiving brought back a memory of him cutting up a raw turkey on my work bench in my garage, since the roaster decided to give out, just so we could fit it on the grill to save the meal.

Those memories we share of our loved ones will make sure they are always with us. Take care of yourself and your family.

this dao is getting hella weird

I’m sorry for your loss @Giantkin what an awful time :frowning: If you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are open.